Sinners

“A gritty tale of blood, blues, and absolutely no theological accuracy.”

Set in the smoky depths of 1930s Mississippi—or maybe the future? Hard to tell—Sinners is the story of two twin brothers (both played by Michael B. Jordan, obviously) who return from some war to open a juke joint and accidentally awaken a centuries-old vampire cult that runs on guilt, jazz, and moonshine.

What starts as a soulful family drama quickly spirals into a blood-soaked fever dream involving fanged preachers, bootleg confessions, and a gospel choir that doubles as an exorcist hit squad.

Kevin Hart makes a surprising turn as “Lil’ Prophet,” a doomsday street preacher who only speaks in riddles and Hot Cheetos metaphors. The villain, played by an unrecognizably pale Timothée Chalamet, floats everywhere and speaks entirely in reversed Bible verses.

There’s a moment—somewhere around Act 2—where I’m pretty sure the twins time-travel back to stop their own birth, and the entire film collapses into a synchronized tap dance that critiques the prison-industrial complex. It’s bold. It’s haunting. It’s completely made up.

Tarantino meets Tyler Perry meets Dracula.

Incredible work by literally everyone involved. Probably.

3.5 out of 5 Blood-Soaked Hymnals