Clown in a Cornfield

Because Nothing Says Small-Town Values Like a Murderous Mascot in Agriculture

This is a movie about a clown, in a cornfield, and that’s already two red flags before the plot even starts.

From what I can tell without having seen it—and also without trying very hard—it involves a group of teenagers with suspiciously good haircuts who are hunted down by what appears to be the physical embodiment of bad crop rotation. The clown’s name is Frendo, which sounds like the off-brand McDonald’s mascot you meet in court-mandated therapy.

The setting is the town of Kettle Springs, which is probably best known for two things:

Once having a Dairy Queen A clown-related body count that should legally disqualify it from being listed on Google Maps

Apparently, the town is split between the old people who think “kids today” are the problem, and the young people who think being alive should not be punishable by farm tools. This results in several town hall meetings, all of which end in bloodshed, dramatic flashlight usage, and someone yelling “RUN!” while tripping over an exposed root.

The clown, of course, doesn’t run. He just stands there—ominously—like a homicidal motivational speaker made of latex and sorrow. He appears wherever there’s corn, fog, or a moody synth track, which means he’s basically unstoppable from September to mid-November.

Expect:

Teens making truly awful decisions A corn maze that doubles as a murder maze A sheriff who’s either completely useless or deeply complicit A twist ending that doesn’t make sense but does make a sequel

There will also be a scene where a phone loses signal, and someone says, “This doesn’t make sense—we have 5G,” right before they get pitchforked into next week.

I give it 4 out of 5 screams in the distance, with bonus points if Frendo gets a full-blown origin story involving unlicensed birthday parties and a tragic misunderstanding at the county fair.