The Last Rodeo

Dust, Drama, and One Emotionally Available Horse

The Last Rodeo is the kind of movie where you can smell the plot just by looking at the poster: one man, one saddle, and one final emotionally cathartic ride into the setting sun. It stars an aging cowboy (probably played by someone like Josh Brolin or any actor whose face looks like it was carved out of barn wood) who’s been out of the game since The Incident™ and now gets dragged back in for—you guessed it—one last rodeo.

There’s a younger rider with potential but no discipline, a daughter he doesn’t talk to because of reasons, and a horse named something profound like “Redemption” or “Carol.” The trailer includes slow-motion dirt kicks, at least three scenes where someone dramatically tosses a cowboy hat onto a fence post, and a lot of gravel-voiced whisper-yelling like, “This ain’t just about bulls, son. It’s about who you are on the inside.”

At some point, the protagonist will stare at an empty arena and flash back to a better time. This is followed by either a training montage set to acoustic guitar or a very quiet scene where he stares out over a prairie while being backlit by emotional trauma.

There’s definitely a rival. His name is probably Cade. He drives a lifted truck, chews toothpicks aggressively, and wears designer denim. He once stole the protagonist’s title, his horse, and maybe his wife. It’s never made fully clear.

The Last Rodeo is not just about bull riding. It’s about regret. It’s about second chances. It’s about saying “I’m sorry” without actually saying it, usually by building a barn with your estranged son. It’s about sweat-stained cowboy hats and a climactic ride that ends with either victory, a trip to the hospital, or both.

In short, it’s The Wrestler but with more livestock.

I give it 4 out of 5 metaphorical sunsets, with a bonus point for every time a character says “this ain’t no rodeo” while actively being at a rodeo.