Karate Kid: Legends

Two Legends. One Kid. And More Wisdom Than a Panda Express Fortune Cookie

So apparently this is the movie where Jackie Chan and Ralph Macchio team up—not to stop a global threat, but to co-manage the emotional stability of one incredibly stressed-out teenager. It’s a Karate Kid crossover event, and by “event,” I mean you’ll leave the theater unsure whether you need a black belt or a therapist.

The story revolves around a young martial arts prodigy named Li Fong, who moves from Beijing to New York because the universe decided his life wasn’t hard enough already. He’s then jointly trained by two men from completely different cinematic timelines who bond over a mutual love of punching things and looking disappointed while holding tea.

Jackie Chan, at 71 years old, is still flipping over balconies like gravity owes him money. His Mr. Han character brings wisdom, pain, and at least one scene where he teaches a lesson by mopping a floor so aggressively it causes a flashback. Meanwhile, Ralph Macchio’s Daniel LaRusso is still carrying the emotional weight of a high school tournament from 1984. He now mentors kids through karate and metaphorical breakdowns in parking lots.

The plot builds toward a massive martial arts tournament, because that’s how this universe solves all its problems. International tension? Tournament. Grief and identity crises? Tournament. Forgot your locker combo? Spin kick until someone cries.

Expect a lot of deep moral lessons delivered between flying kicks and dramatic stares. Jackie teaches “stillness in motion.” Ralph teaches “motion while overthinking everything.” Together, they’re like a divorced couple trying to co-parent a spiritual awakening.

There’s also a rich villain dojo, because there’s always a rich villain dojo. They have matching uniforms, emotionally unavailable parents, and a team motto that probably involves the word “dominate” in calligraphy.

I give it 4 out of 5 slowly whispered sayings that could double as yoga class instructions. Bonus points if Jackie and Ralph do a synchronized bow while the teen does a spinning backflip into inner peace.