The Naked Gun (2025)

The Naked Gun (the reboot, not the 1988 classic that had a higher body count of banana peels than bullets)

So there’s a new Naked Gun movie, which I have not seen but feel fully qualified to review because I once watched Airplane! while under the influence of NyQuil and a Costco-sized box of Cheez-Its.

This reboot stars Liam Neeson, who is mostly famous for playing characters who threaten to do horrible things to people over the phone. But now he’s playing Frank Drebin Jr., a police detective who solves crimes primarily by tripping over things and accidentally blowing up half the city. This is a big career shift for Neeson, who usually responds to criminals with intense lines like “I will find you… and I will kill you,” and now has to say things like “I will find you… but first I need to get this toilet plunger off my head.”

The film is directed by Akiva Schaffer, a member of The Lonely Island, which is a comedy group known for songs like “I’m on a Boat,” which is what I assume Liam Neeson screamed during filming when he slipped on a rubber ducky and flew through a window into the harbor.

I read online that Seth MacFarlane produced this, so you already know it’s going to contain jokes that ride the line between “hilarious” and “I’m going to be sued.” Also, Pamela Anderson is in it, playing some sort of romantic interest, because this film lives in an alternate reality where that pairing makes sense and defies all known laws of physics, chemistry, and age-appropriate flirting.

The plot – and I use that word in the loosest possible way – involves Drebin Jr. trying to stop something that’s probably a crime, although most of the trailer just shows him getting hit in the groin by a series of increasingly improbable objects, including a falling air conditioner, a ceiling fan, and, I think, a small goat.

There’s also a scene where Liam Neeson wears a Catholic schoolgirl outfit, which I’m sure was in his original “List of Things I Never Thought I’d Do After Turning 70.” At this point I have to assume Neeson accepted this role either because (a) he lost a bet, (b) his agent is a chaos goblin, or (c) he thought this was another Taken sequel and no one corrected him.

Meanwhile, David Zucker, the original director, has gone on record as saying he hates this reboot and was not asked to be involved. That’s Hollywood-speak for “I am sending them a flaming paper bag of angry nostalgia.”

There are cameos. There are fart jokes. There’s a scene involving a twerking suspect and a taser. There’s probably a running gag about Neeson mistaking his gun for a banana. And of course, there’s a joke involving a courtroom, a sneeze, and at least three counts of accidental public nudity.

And folks: I did not make any of that up. Except the banana. But I’m 90% sure it’s still in the movie.

I give this movie one confused Liam Neeson, three head injuries, and a C+ in law enforcement competency.