The Toxic Avenger

They said justice is blind. They didn’t say it would be radioactive, shirtless, and wielding a mop.

Toxic Avenger marks the triumphant return of Tromaville’s least subtle hero, this time courtesy of a reboot starring Peter Dinklage as a disfigured janitor turned toxic crusader. Directed with campy precision and just enough budget to make you wonder where the rest went, this film revives the spirit of Troma’s cult classic—and smears it across the lens in glowing green goo.

Kevin Bacon plays the villain, a corporate overlord who’s one part Elon Musk, one part melted action figure. He chews scenery with the same intensity you’d expect from a man who once danced angrily in a warehouse—only now he’s doing it in a lab coat, surrounded by sentient sludge and evil interns.

The film took years to see the light of day, with early cuts reportedly considered “unreleasable” and at least one test screening ending in what eyewitnesses described as “confused applause and a guy dressed as Toxie mopping the floor of the lobby in tears.”

Peter Dinklage commits fully, giving Toxie a soulful, gravelly presence that makes you forget he’s holding a mop the entire time. The practical effects are gloriously gross, the jokes hit like radioactive bricks, and yes—there’s a surprise musical number set in a toxic waste facility.

It’s ridiculous. It’s violent. It probably violates three EPA regulations.

4.5 out of 5 Glowing Mops